The Humorous Speech-Sample Speech, "Facebook Cliffhangers"

This speech was delivered to the BF Community Toastmasters Club in the June 17, 2017 Toastmasters Meeting.

Facebook Cliffhangers
(The Humorous Speech, Advanced Speech Project #5 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Jun.17,2017, BFComm TMC, MMCP, Las Piñas. Evaluated by Ian Along ACB CL)

INTRODUCTION

(thumbs up) Thank you! (big smile) Good afternoon everyone! Hey, did you guys see the latest release of the Featured Toastmaster in our Facebook page? Have you seen it? (strike pose) Nice photo and just recent! I kept telling TM Leah that she could’ve just taken any of John Lloyd’s photo off the internet. And people won’t know the difference! (pose) But TM Leah wanted no part of it. And I must say, TM Leah did a great job, yes? Let’s give it up for TM Leah for her post on the Featured Toastmaster in our Facebook page!


BODY

Speaking of Facebook, who uses Facebook, by the way? Yes, everyone! Dumb question, I know. All of us have seen many kinds of annoying posts in Facebook. We’ve seen them. One of these types is what I call the Cliffhangers – because they leave you hanging and in suspense. Let me give you an example.

One of my friends, her name is Cathy. She posted something on Facebook which read (flash) “My life is horrible! horrible! horrible!” No picture, nothing. And so we, her friends, were all alarmed!

We were all asking her in Facebook, (typing) “What’s wrong Cat?”, “What happened?” No reply. Finally, after 20 or more inquiries, Cathy posted her reply to our questions on what was wrong with her life. Her reply? (flash) “Se-cret.” ♫ That’s her reply, “Secret!”

I said to myself, (on head) “What the heck!” She posted an alarming message, like there was an emergency and now it’s a secret? Why did she post it in the first place!

See, these are the cliffhangers that you see posted in Facebook every now and then. These posts just leave you hanging on, in suspense. So, intentionally, their messages become 10-bits… in Tagalog, “bitin.” They leave you hanging. They leave you in suspense. That’s a cliffhanger.

And then there are those who level it up. They even have a “call for action.” Consider this. And… this is a true story. My former boss Sarah once posted in her status update, (flash) “I’m at a crossroads in my life right now. Please pray.” That’s the call for action - to pray. So I thought, “Pray for what?” And so I replied in Facebook (typing), “Dear Sarah, I’m worried. What is your prayer intention?” And she replied to me, (flash) “Les, I CANNOT tell you.”

“What?” I was about to pull my hair off! Well, whatever is left of it. She wanted prayers, but won’t tell me what for!

One month later, I see Facebook photos of herself and her family in Switzerland. Apparently, they’ve immigrated there and now living “the good life.” Then I realized that the prayer intention was for the approval for her immigration papers. But before these, she left us hanging and kept people in suspense. Another cliffhanger.

And then there are those who ask suggestions from Facebook friends. (flash) “Help me get a name for my new pet dog.. for my pet cat… pet bird, snake, or kangaroo.” And they even offer a prize (word-of-the-day) for the winning entry. So people (finger) think and (typing) post clever and witty nice names, like Fifi or Browny or Fluffy. Sadly, after a week you won’t hear anything anymore from them. Not even a word about which entry won! Nope, they just kept you in suspense. Cliffhanger.


CONCLUSION

What can be done with these annoying Facebook posts? For the most part, nothing I suppose. Maybe just ignore them. Or how about a big (thumbs-down) dislike button? Oh, there's an angry icon that goes like this (angry face), but that won't really replace the power of a Dislike button. Do you think it will help?

Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook posted a (flash) status about Facebook implementing a Dislike Button. But so far, there’s none. (smile, pause) Who knows, maybe he's just teasing us Facebook users.

Maybe he just left us hanging on.
Maybe he’s just keeping us in suspense.
Or maybe, Mark's post… is another… cliffhanger!

Toastmaster of the Day.

Sample Speeches in Humorously Speaking

Sample Speeches in the Old Program

Sample Speeches in Pathways

Keep Them Laughing-Sample Speech, "Toastmasters Sucks!"

This speech was delivered at the BF Community Toastmasters Club in the June 3, 2017 Toastmasters Meeting.

Toastmasters Sucks!!!
(Keep Them Laughing, Advanced Speech Project #4 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Jun.3,2017, BFComm TMC, MMCP, Las Piñas. Evaluated by AD Jeffrey Ganaba CC)

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon Toastmasters. Thank you, Toastmaster of the Day. Just a minor correction though. The title of my speech is not "Toastmasters Sucks." The title is "Toastmasters Sucks!!!" Those were the words I said to myself when I came out from the first Toastmasters meeting I attended many years ago.


BODY

Ten years ago, I was thinner, maybe 30 lbs. lighter. A new Toastmasters club was formed at our office where I was employed previously. All the senior managers in the company were the founding members of that club.

One day, the managers decided to require all engineers and IT staff to join their Toastmasters meeting. I was one of the IT staff. I didn’t want to go. I simply was not interested in public speaking. But we were forced to go, so I attended.

I was an observer in the meeting. When I came out of that meeting, I was totally turned-off. I thought it was a waste of time. Right there and then, I could have said, “My gahd, I hate Toastmasters.”(with Duterte accent) The meeting looked artificial and exaggerated. I’ll tell you TWO reasons why.

First is the constant handshaking.

I discovered that my boss, a grumpy person at the office, was actually an officer of the club. But in the meeting, he was suddenly warm, friendly and welcomed me like I was a long lost friend! He said “Les! Glad you could make it!" He then shook my hand until my entire body trembled.

The other club officers waved their arms to greet me and shook my hand. One of them was even carrying a hammer. Later, for some strange reasons, he banged that hammer on the table - not once, but twice!

Oh it didn’t stop there. There was handshaking every time someone went up to say something in front at the lectern (demo). Finally, more handshaking when everyone had to leave.

It was like they were all running for mayor and were actively campaigning. I don’t know. At that time, it just seemed too artificial for me.

The second one was the constant clapping.

When someone is called, everyone claps. When someone stands to come in front, everyone claps. I thought I was attending a graduation ceremony. At the start, everyone was clapping generously and loudly (demo), with so much gusto. Well, like in graduation ceremony, when the list of graduates is long, the clapping gets tired.

In that meeting, it was the same. I was loudly clapping for all the speakers and then for all the evaluators. By the time the Ah-counter came along to give his ah counter’s report, my palms were already red, tired, and painful from all the clapping.

And all I could give for the Ah-counter was this (demo) – a slow clap. The numerous clapping looked so exaggerated, like it was overacting already.

With these two pet peeves I had, still, I decided to try out, and "answer the call" (theme) of Toastmasters with the basic speeches. It was only later then that I discovered that these two had real purposes in Toastmasters meetings!

The first, the handshaking, is a universal greeting gesture to recognize. In all our meetings, it is an ingenious (word of the day) way to hand over control of the floor from one speaker to another.

Clapping, on the other hand, demonstrated the idea of unconditional support and encouragement that Toastmasters give each other. And this is something that Toastmasters is known for, support and encouragement.


CONCLUSION

So, friends, new members and newbies, don’t be put-off by these seemingly exaggerated motions. They have their place and they are normal and typical with all Toastmasters meetings.

Those past impressions of mine were from 10 years ago... 10 years ago. And… 39 speech projects later… here I am, no longer saying “Toastmasters sucks!”, but now saying, “Toastmasters rocks!”. Good Afternoon. Toastmaster of the Day.

Sample Speeches in Humorously Speaking

Sample Speeches in the Old Program

Sample Speeches in Pathways

Make Them Laugh-Sample Speech, "Tres Marias"

This speech was delivered at the Alabang Community Toastmasters Club in the October 24, 2015 Toastmasters Meeting.

Tres Marias
(Make Them Laugh, Advanced Speech Project #3 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Oct.24,2015, ACT Club, Hermanos Taco Shop, Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet delos Reyes, DTM)

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters. Can anyone guess how many daughters I have? (if no one guesses correctly), Come on, it’s in the title of my speech! Tres Marias! (if someone guesses correctly) There you go! Hey, you’re sharp! Give the guy a jacket!

Yes, I have three daughters and their ages are spaced 2 years apart. So yeah, you could say that the 3 of them came one after the other and folks refer to them as Tres Marias.

Leave Them With a Smile-Sample Speech, "Into the Contest Zone"

This speech was delivered at the Alabang Community Toastmasters Club in the September 26, 2015 Toastmasters Meeting.

Into the Contest Zone
(Leave Them With a Smile, Advanced Speech Project #2 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Sep.26,2015, ACT Club, Hermanos Taco Shop, Alabang. Evaluated by Michael Jacinto, CC ALS)

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters. Well, the speech contest season is once again in the air! And we congratulate toastmaster Ian/Dolly for his successful participation in this morning’s Division contest.

I remember the first time I participated in a speech contest many years ago. But I was not a contestant then. No. I was a test speaker or what was also known as model speaker.

A test speaker is one who speaks in an evaluation contest and the contestants evaluate the test speaker. The contestant with the best evaluation wins.

Warm Up Your Audience-Sample Speech, "Oldies But Goodies"

This speech was delivered at the Alabang Community Toastmasters Club in the July 25, 2015 Toastmasters Meeting.

Oldies But Goodies
(Warm Up Your Audience, Advanced Speech Project #1 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Jul.25,2015, ACT Club, Hermanos Taco Shop, Alabang. Evaluated by Ed Fabonan, DTM)

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters. Some of you know me as a church worker in our parish. And no, I don’t get paid for being a parish worker, although I wish I did! I’m a commentator at the parish.

For those not familiar, a commentator is one who leads in the responses to prayers and even songs during the Holy Mass. I work as a commentator in Sunday masses, weekday masses, baptisms, even funeral masses. But my favorites are the wedding masses.

The Motivational Speech-Sample Speech, "Earn Google Dollars with Blogs"

This speech was delivered at the Alabang Community Toastmasters club in the June 13, 2015 Toastmasters Meeting.

Earn Google Dollars with Blogs
(The Motivational Speech, Advanced Speech Project #5 in The Professional Speaker Manual, Jun.13,2015, ACT Club, Amici Restaurant, Alabang. Evaluated by Raul dela Vega, DTM)

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters. A couple of months ago I posted a status update on Facebook showing two pictures. (show the facebook pictures) Some of you here have seen these pictures, and they seem to have generated a bit of interest. Although these pictures were posted 2 months ago, they were actually taken 5 years ago.

The Professional Seminar-Sample Speech, "Propagation By Air-Layering"

This speech was delivered at the BF Community Toastmasters Club in the November 8, 2014 Toastmasters Meeting.

Propagation by Air-Layering
(The Professional Seminar, Advanced Speech Project #4 in The Professional Speaker Manual, Nov.8,2014, BF Comm TMC, Kei Restaurant, Las Piñas City. Evaluated by Dulce Rañosa, ACS/ALS)

INTRODUCTION

(put the plant on table) Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters. This is a dwarf hibiscus or gumamela plant. You can see some buds on the branches. This is how the flowers of the plant will look like when they bloom. (show picture of flower and then put it down)

The Sales Training Speech-Sample, "Curb Appeal"

Curb Appeal
(The Sales Training Speech, Advanced Speech Project #3 in The Professional Speaker Manual, Oct.4,2014, BF Comm TMC, Kei Restaurant, Las Piñas City. Evaluated by Beth Pableo, DTM)

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters, I have here a picture that I would like to show you. And I want you to tell me what you see in the picture. (show picture of house and brief interview about the audience's description)

The Keynote Address-Sample Speech, "Focus On Your Goals"

Focus On Your Goals
(The Keynote Address, Advanced Speech Project #1 in The Professional Speaker Manual, Jul.4,2009, ACT Club, 5th-Year Anniversary and Induction Ceremonies, Bellevue Hotel, Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet Gabay)

INTRODUCTION

(After being introduced by emcee) Thank you, (emcee). Happy Anniversary to all of us here celebrating 5 years of Alabang Community Toastmasters Club's fruitful existence.

Wow, it feels so good to talk into a microphone once again after getting used to speaking loudly without a microphone. You all know how difficult it can be sometimes when over there at Henlin, our home base, we'd have to speak a bit louder especially with a big audience.

It also feels good just to speak in a venue away from our home base, once in a while.

The Oratorical Speech-Sample, "Ninoy's Undelivered Speech"

This speech was delivered at the Alabang Community Toastmasters Club in the September 18, 2008 Toastmasters Meeting.

Ninoy's Undelivered Speech
The Oratorical Speech, Advanced Speech #5 in the Interpretive Reading Manual, Sep.18,2008, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Dr. Larry Gamboa)

(Source: “The Prepared Speech That Was Never Read,” Mr & Ms magazine, Vol VIII, No 20 Sept 6, 1983 p. 3.)

I have returned on my free will to join the ranks of those struggling to restore our rights and freedoms through non-violence. I seek no confrontation. I only pray and will strive for a genuine national reconciliation founded on justice.

I am prepared for the worst, and have decided against the advice of my mother, my spiritual adviser, many of my tested friends and a few of my most valued political mentors.

The Play-Sample Speech, "The Little Prince"

The Little Prince
(The Play, Advanced Speech Project #4 in the Interpretive Reading Manual, Aug.21,2008, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet Gabay, ACG/CL)

INTRODUCTION

Is everybody familiar with the book The Little Prince?

We did a book review on the book The Little Prince not too long ago. And that was when I was in high school – not too long ago.

According to Wikipedia, the book has sold more than 80 million copies worldwide and has been translated in more than 180 languages and dialects. It was written by a pilot who’s also a writer by the name of Antoine du Saint-Exupery.

It's one of the best-selling books of all time. It has been adapted into a musical, into operas and plays. It has even been adapted into an animation series.

The Monodrama-Sample Speech, "The Green Goblin's Invitation"

The Green Goblin's Invitation
(The Monodrama, Advanced Speech Project #3 in the Interpretive Reading Manual, May.8,2008, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Gles Fuerte, ATMB/CL)

INTRODUCTION

Good Evening Toastmasters. In showbiz parlance (word of the day), there’s a phrase called “memorable movie quotes”. And one of these quotes goes like this. “With Great Power... comes great... responsibility”.

Is there anybody here who has seen "Spiderman - The movie", the first one? (pause) Good!

In that movie, the Green Goblin played by Willem Dafoe, was Spiderman’s arch enemy. Spiderman in the movie was played by Toby Maguire. For those of you who have seen the movie, this is the Green Goblin, just to refresh your memory. (show picture of The Green Goblin)

Interpreting Poetry-Sample Speech, "The Raven"

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
(Interpreting Poetry, Advanced Speech Project #2 in the Interpretive Reading Manual, Apr.17,2008, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Dr. Larry Gamboa)

INTRODUCTION

Good Evening Toastmasters! It is still fresh in my mind that when I was growing up, I happened to see a very fine delivery of a poem. The poem was recited by Vincent Price, The Vincent Price, an American actor. Anybody knows who Vincent Price is?

Well, if you do know who Vincent Price is, then that kinda tells me how old you are. (smile) Kidding aside, the poem is entitled “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe and is one of his famous poems. In the poem, a narrator mourns for a lost love named Lenore while reading in his study room when he suddenly was visited by a big black bird called a raven. It is said that this poem shows a parallelism with Edgar Allan Poe’s own life.

So, friends, without further ado, a shortened version of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe.

Reading a Story-Sample Speech, "The Legend of Bandung Bondowoso"

The Legend of Bandung Bondowoso
(Reading a Story, Advanced Speech Project #1 in the Interpretive Reading Manual, Apr.10,2008, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet Gabay, ACG/CL)

INTRODUCTION

Good evening toastmasters! Last Holy Week, my wife and I had a wonderful opportunity to go visit and stay in Jakarta, Indonesia. This is in part to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. When we were there, I recalled that my eldest daughter once had a school project in Asian History. (pull out the Wayang Kulit puppet)

An Abstract Concept-Sample Speech, "Food For The Dead"

Food for the Dead
(An Abstract Concept, Advanced Speech Project #5 in the Speaking to Inform Manual, Nov.23,2007, Cummins Sales and Services Phils, LIIP Mamplansan, Binan, Demo meeting. Evaluated by Gina S. Mapua)

INTRODUCTION

Several weeks ago at the start of this month, many of us visited the cemeteries or memorial parks to observe All Saint’s Day. Unlike many people though, my family and I always choose to visit the cemetery on the second day, All Soul’s day.

And the reason is to avoid the crowds and traffic. Now if you’re like us, there are only three things we bring to the cemetery for the dead. And these are prayers, candles and flowers.

A Fact-Finding Report-Sample Speech, "Drowning Prevention"

Drowning Prevention
(A Fact-Finding Report, Advanced Speech Project #4 in the Speaking to Inform Manual, Nov.15,2007, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang, Evaluated by Lolet Gabay, ACG/CL)

INTRODUCTION

How does a drowning child in the pool or in the beach look like? For that matter, how can you tell if someone is drowning?

The Demonstration Talk-Sample Speech, "The Eggbeater Kick"

The Eggbeater Kick
(The Demonstration Talk, Advanced Speech #3 in the Speaking to Inform Manual, Nov.8,2007, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Viviene Vargas)

INTRODUCTION

Good Evening! Who among you here have visited my personal blog? Those who have visited my blog would probably know by now that the blog is essentially a swimming journal.

Resources for Informing-Sample Speech, "Basic Blog Layout"

Basic Blog Layout
(Resources for Informing, Advanced Speech Project #2 in the Speaking to Inform Manual, Oct.18,2007, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet Gabay)

INTRODUCTION

Who among us here have visited or seen a blog? Who among us here look at blogs on a regular basis, as in everyday? Who among you here have seen my blog?

The Speech to Inform-Sample Speech, "Why Put it Out There?"

Why Put it Out There?
(The Speech to Inform, Advanced Speech #1 in the Speaking to Inform Manual, Oct.11,2007, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet Gabay, ACG/CL)

INTRODUCTION

Several weeks ago, Ma’m Lolet here asked me for copies of a couple of my speeches. I asked her if she had access to the Internet. And she said “Yes, of course I have access.”

And I said “Great, that means I don’t even have to email you word documents.” And so, rather than send her documents, I sent her a URL.

Bringing History to Life-Sample Speech, "A Painting and A Plate"

A Painting and a Plate
(Bringing History to Life, Advanced Speech Project #5 in the Storytelling Manual, Sep.13,2007, ACT Club, Henlin, Northgate Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet Gabay, ACG/CL)

INTRODUCTION

Good Evening! Has anybody seen this piece of art work? (show picture 1 - A Parisian Life)