Saturday, June 17, 2017

The Humorous Speech-Sample Speech, "Facebook Cliffhangers"

This speech was delivered to the BF Community Toastmasters Club in the June 17, 2017 Toastmasters Meeting.

Facebook Cliffhangers
(The Humorous Speech, Advanced Speech Project #5 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Jun.17,2017, BFComm TMC, MMCP, Las PiƱas. Evaluated by Ian Along ACB CL)


INTRODUCTION

(thumbs up) Thank you! (big smile) Good afternoon everyone! Hey, did you guys see the latest release of the Featured Toastmaster in our Facebook page? Have you seen it? (strike pose) Nice photo and just recent! I kept telling TM Leah that she could’ve just taken any of John Lloyd’s photo off the internet. And people won’t know the difference! (pose) But TM Leah wanted no part of it. And I must say, TM Leah did a great job, yes? Let’s give it up for TM Leah for her post on the Featured Toastmaster in our Facebook page!


BODY

Speaking of Facebook, who uses Facebook, by the way? Yes, everyone! Dumb question, I know. All of us have seen many kinds of annoying posts in Facebook. We’ve seen them. One of these types is what I call the Cliffhangers – because they leave you hanging and in suspense. Let me give you an example.

One of my friends, her name is Cathy. She posted something on Facebook which read (flash) “My life is horrible! horrible! horrible!” No picture, nothing. And so we, her friends, were all alarmed!


We were all asking her in Facebook, (typing) “What’s wrong Cat?”, “What happened?” No reply. Finally, after 20 or more inquiries, Cathy posted her reply to our questions on what was wrong with her life. Her reply? (flash) “Se-cret.” ♫ That’s her reply, “Secret!”

I said to myself, (on head) “What the heck!” She posted an alarming message, like there was an emergency and now it’s a secret? Why did she post it in the first place!




See, these are the cliffhangers that you see posted in Facebook every now and then. These posts just leave you hanging on, in suspense. So, intentionally, their messages become 10-bits… in Tagalog, “bitin.” They leave you hanging. They leave you in suspense. That’s a cliffhanger.

And then there are those who level it up. They even have a “call for action.” Consider this. And… this is a true story. My former boss Sarah once posted in her status update, (flash) “I’m at a crossroads in my life right now. Please pray.” That’s the call for action - to pray. So I thought, “Pray for what?” And so I replied in Facebook (typing), “Dear Sarah, I’m worried. What is your prayer intention?” And she replied to me, (flash) “Les, I CANNOT tell you.”

“What?” I was about to pull my hair off! Well, whatever is left of it. She wanted prayers, but won’t tell me what for!


One month later, I see Facebook photos of herself and her family in Switzerland. Apparently, they’ve immigrated there and now living “the good life.” Then I realized that the prayer intention was for the approval for her immigration papers. But before these, she left us hanging and kept people in suspense. Another cliffhanger.




And then there are those who ask suggestions from Facebook friends. (flash) “Help me get a name for my new pet dog.. for my pet cat… pet bird, snake, or kangaroo.” And they even offer a prize (word-of-the-day) for the winning entry. So people (finger) think and (typing) post clever and witty nice names, like Fifi or Browny or Fluffy. Sadly, after a week you won’t hear anything anymore from them. Not even a word about which entry won! Nope, they just kept you in suspense. Cliffhanger.


CONCLUSION

What can be done with these annoying Facebook posts? For the most part, nothing I suppose. Maybe just ignore them. Or how about a big (thumbs-down) dislike button? Oh, there's an angry icon that goes like this (angry face), but that won't really replace the power of a Dislike button. Do you think it will help?


Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook posted a (flash) status about Facebook implementing a Dislike Button. But so far, there’s none. (smile, pause) Who knows, maybe he's just teasing us Facebook users.

Maybe he just left us hanging on.
Maybe he’s just keeping us in suspense.
Or maybe, Mark's post… is another… cliffhanger!

Toastmaster of the Day.