Saturday, October 24, 2015

Make Them Laugh-Sample Speech

Tres Marias
(Make Them Laugh, Advanced Speech Project #3 in Humorously Speaking Manual, Oct.24,2015, ACT Club, Hermanos Taco Shop, Alabang. Evaluated by Lolet delos Reyes, DTM)


INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon fellow Toastmasters. Can anyone guess how many daughters I have? (if no one guesses correctly), Come on, it’s in the title of my speech! Tres Marias! (if someone guesses correctly) There you go! Hey, you’re sharp! Give the guy a jacket!


Yes, I have three daughters and their ages are spaced 2 years apart. So yeah, you could say that the 3 of them came one after the other and folks refer to them as Tres Marias.


BODY

Who among you here has a daughter or daughters? (how many daughters) Aren’t daughters adorable? Of course they’re only adorable up to a certain age, right?





Beard and Mustache

I remember when my youngest daughter was about 3 years old. She and I were watching a movie on DVD. I was seated on the sofa while she was standing on it. I noticed she was staring at me and then moved to me.

She stroked my face and asked, “Papa, what is this?” Now, I haven’t shaved for a month, and so I replied, “Oh, that’s a beard and a mustache.” And then she touched her face and said, “I don’t have.”

So I explained, “Oh yeah, only boys have beards and mustache. Girls don’t have beards and mustache”

A few minutes later, I took a shower and decided to shave. I went back to watching the movie, clean-shaven. When my daughter saw me, her eyes lit up! She got down the sofa and exclaimed to her mom and sisters.

“He’s now one of us!” “Papa.. is now a girl!” Yeah, I know. Knowing how young she was, I should’ve been more thorough in my explanation. Yup, that is the period when kids say the darnest things, or so they say.


Grocery Shopping

Now, speaking of periods. Once I was in a supermarket and my eldest daughter was having one of her monthly periods. She texted me and asked me to buy her sanitary napkin. And the text read, “Papa, buy Modess with wings.” Wings?

Now I must confess I don’t really watch television and I abhor TV commercials.

So, what’s with the napkins with wings? Why do they have wings? Don’t you all just put them in the same place? They don’t fly away to somewhere else, do they? Eventually, I learned what they are in the supermarket.


Now talking of supermarkets, having the Tres Marias creates a dent on the grocery bill. So imagine my surprise when upon entering the bathroom, I saw 5 big bottles of different shampoo.

So I told the Tres Marias, “Hey, there’s only three of you. Why do you need 5 different kinds of shampoo?”

One of them said she has oily hair and needs a shampoo for oily hair. The other said she has dry hair and needs another shampoo for dry hair. The third one said she wanted shampoo for black and shiny hair, and so on, and so forth.

Now you know why I abhor TV commercials!




So I told them, “You know when I was your age, all I used was laundry soap in the province… even for my hair.” The middle daughter said, “Well, that explains your hair, Papa.” “Why, what’s wrong with my hair.” “Papa, you have HIV!” “Your Hair Is Vanishing”.

When I asked them which shampoo I could use, they told me to take any of the used sachets. They said I don’t have much to shampoo anyway. Yes, the Tres Marias are fond of bullying me. So, I looked at the mirror and inspected my receding hairline.


My wife was quite reassuring and calmly said, “Oh don’t worry about your hair, dear. What’s more important is what is underneath!” After a brief pause, and showing her my pretty face, I said, “Oh!.. Yes, of course... (pogi poses) What’s underneath is more important…”

My wife was not amused and said, “No dear, what I meant was your mind.” Oh… That… And the Tres Marias had another round of laughter.


CONCLUSION

Our kids develop their personalities and they change through the years. Effective communication to your kids means being able to adjust to their needs and how they change. This means really trying hard to understand and explain. That way, there is no confusion or misunderstanding. Good Afternoon.